20-Something Struggles

I wrote this a couple of weeks ago and wasn’t sure if I wanted to post it, today I decided to say “F*ck it” and post. So here goes nothing!

 

23. And fucking lost. Nowhere near where I wanted to be at this point. Further than I’ve been before. And I don’t even know where I want to be. I just know it’s almost anywhere but here.

I’m doing it all alone. It’s me against the world. And I don’t know if this girl can handle that. I used to be a girl that would say “Bring it on world!” And now I”m a girl that’s terrified and I find myself thinking, “Go away, world.”

I’m drowning. And looking for a life vest.

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After a bad day at work, I came home and broke down. (Thank goodness that was before the new Adele album.) I am in a much better spot mentally today than I was then. But I’m still not entirely happy.

I know I’m better than where I am right now. And I know I could do better than what I am right now. And the hardest part to swallow, is I know that I’m the only one who is holding me back right now.