I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. Just think about it. Every decision you’ve ever made in your life up to this point has led you to right now, this very second, this exact moment.
If you went left instead of right, if you gave up instead of pushing forward, you might not be where you are at this very moment. Are you okay with that?
It’s a concept that’s been eye opening for me, and honestly, a little frightening. Was I destined for more than this? Is my future all that I hope for? And the question I’ve been asking myself lately is this: If I was braver, would I be happier?
I no longer know what I want, and therefore I no longer know how to get there. But I keep going about my life, and wondering what would have happened if I was braver in my life.
In my last post I talked about how I am braver now than I was a year ago. And while I do think that’s true overall, today I am doubting my bravery. I am doubting my faith, and myself. Today, I do not feel brave. Today I want to curl up in a ball and shut the rest of the world out, because they are the ones who force me to be brave. And today, I just can’t take that pressure.
The bravest thing I’ve done today is write this for the little world of readers I have to read. And maybe relate. And maybe feel comfort. And just maybe they can feel a little bit braver today. Even if that bravery only shows in writing.