That’s Not My Job (And other things I wish I could say to you)

A few weeks ago, I wrote about defining my 20-Something self. I came up with a list of things that don’t define me. Today I am coming up with a list of things that are not my job:

  1. I am not your personal scapegoat.When I get copied on a long, angry letter from the boss that was directly sent to you demanding to know why a certain mistake was made and you quickly throw me under the bus even though we both know it wasn’t my fault, what am I supposed to do? Is it petty and unprofessional to say, “Actually you did that, I only did what you told me to do?” If I stand up for myself then it comes off as if I am not taking responsibility for my actions. Even though they were not, in fact, my actions. I thought that working with adults meant that people owned up to their mistakes and weren’t so quick to pass the blame. What was I thinking?
  2. I am not your password keeper. If you decide to put me in charge of all your work-related usernames and logins (which I loathe), then don’t get mad when you don’t remember it. If you set up your login and then tell me to go retrieve something because you can’t remember the password, how am I supposed to help you? I click on “Reset Password” the same button that appeared on the screen for you, and the email gets sent to you. Rather than just following the link or instructions provided to you in said email, you then forward it to me. Really? Then I ask you what you want your password to be so that you might remember it next time and you tell me “You decide.” Don’t be surprised when your password to view secure messages ends up being “Marinaisthebestassistantever!”
  3. Writing down your green chili recipe so you can enter it into a contest is not my job. This is not what my degree was meant for. And it’s a little degrading that you asked me to do that.
  4. Fixing technical issues that are 1000% out of my control and power to fix. The online system that the courts use is not my area of expertise. I have to call Technical Support just like you do.
  5. Covering your ass when you decide to make a client wait for you for 30 minutes. I understand that she was late, I also understand that you have to eat. But if you know she is coming in at some point, do you really have to go out to eat? And telling people to “make her wait” if she comes in while you’re out is childish and unprofessional and I shouldn’t have to be the one to explain to her why she’s been waiting for half an hour.
  6. Lastly, if you ask me to take screenshots of a photographer’s work from the internet instead of just paying for the damn photos, I am going to refuse and think less of you for it. 



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