About My Human…

Time to respond to one of the many prompts I have been meaning to write about. I believe these prompts were written on Thought Catalog some time ago. If I could find the link I would provide it, but I cannot. So here is number one on their list.

Describe yourself from your pet’s point of view.

Here is a picture of my lovely cat, Ninja. So that you can put a face to the name and the voice.

Ever feel like you're being looked down upon?

Ever feel like you’re being looked down upon?

“This human of mine is very strange. She’s fine in the sense that she feeds me and gives me that yummy tuna flavored gel, but she never wants to play when it’s dark. For some reason she’s gone for what seems like days. When she walks in the door, she doesn’t immediately pet me or scratch my butt while I eat. I meow and meow at her and all she says is “Give me a minute.” I’ve given her all day and she still wants “a minute?” When it finally gets dark enough to play, she loses conciousness in that mountain of soft blankets. So naturally, I try to show her that there is still so much to play with, outlets on the wall, flowers in those vases of hers, all the mesh tulle at the bottom of her dresses, even her own head filled with yellow strings! And you know what she does? Instead of kindly accepting my invitation to play, she sits up looking crazed, yells my name and uses that god awful weapon she calls a spray bottle! Talk about ungrateful.

When she does wake up, I have finally gone to sleep and she disturbs my slumber. She turns the lights on and even though I look at her like she’s gone mad, she continues to dress herself and play with that yellow string of hers. The only time I move from the comfy blankets is when she turns off certain lights and leaves the room. That’s how I know she is going to the kitchen. I immediately follow and meow at her to let her know how absolutely famished I am. When she eventually feeds me, after she puts her things down, she never gives me enough and she rarely scratches my butt the way I like her too. And if, on the off chance that I have chosen to eat rather quickly and vomit it all up afterwards, she gets angry! Doesn’t she understand that I am sick? *sigh* I’ll eventually go to the window and watch her leave, giving her my biggest sad eyes possible.

One of the things I dislike the most is her need to move me from my throne. If she stands up, I move in. Those are the rules. For her to lift me and move me to the ground is just atrocious. I almost always get back at her by knocking a glass off the table or by drinking just a sip of her cereal milk while her back is turned.

Her two redeeming qualities that ultimately make me whine and meow when she leaves are catnip and toys. I have finally trained her not to be those cliched cat toys she finds in pet stores. Why would I use a scratching post when the couch is right there? She has a drawer of fun things that she almost never lets me jump into. It contains little fuzzy balls and pipe cleaners and ribbons. She sometimes has the audacity to use these things to make ornate, pointless objects. But when she drags that pipe cleaner around, I am in heaven. Unlike that obnoxious red dot she sometimes has, I can actually get a hold of the pipe cleaners. Often times I drop them in my water just to make them really fresh, and although I like all of them, the orange and brown flavors are my favorites.

Lastly, when she allows me to enjoy the wonders of catnip, I allow her to be entertained. It is amazing. She doesn’t give me as much as the big guy does, but I still have plenty to roll in. And then something amazing happens… everything becomes interesting, and everything is out to attack me! Even when my human pretends to be a predator, I simply meow at her and let her know that I can see her but that doesn’t stop. She does some absurd hand gesture and I am forced to humor her, by running away.

Overall, she makes a nice companion (so long as she doesn’t make me go in that moving cat carrier or put awful drops in my eyes). I forget that I care about her while she’s gone, but when she’s home I remember that she feeds me and I will sometimes all her to cuddle with me.



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